How Women Want You to Talk Dirty During Sex

About a year and a half ago, I had my first bad experience with dirty talk. I'd been seeing this guy Will* for a few months, and we were having sex. Then, all of a sudden, smack in the middle of it, he leaned down, pressed his lips against my ear, and hissed, “You like that, don’t you, you dirty little slut?”

Now, we’d both done some pretty intense dirty talk in the past. But there was something about being called a slut during sex that stopped me cold. I immediately asked Will to stop what he was doing, and we talked about what had just happened. He was apologetic, and he never used that word again in my presence.

Don’t get me wrong — I love some good dirty talk. But in the wake of the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements, I've been forced to reckon with my own history of harassment. And while I recognize that some women are turned on by hearing words like "slut" and "whore" during sex, for me, it just doesn't sit well.