How Women Want You to Talk Dirty During Sex

About a year and a half ago, I had my first bad experience with dirty talk. I'd been seeing this guy Will* for a few months, and we were having sex. Then, all of a sudden, smack in the middle of it, he leaned down, pressed his lips against my ear, and hissed, “You like that, don’t you, you dirty little slut?”

Now, we’d both done some pretty intense dirty talk in the past. But there was something about being called a slut during sex that stopped me cold. I immediately asked Will to stop what he was doing, and we talked about what had just happened. He was apologetic, and he never used that word again in my presence.

Don’t get me wrong — I love some good dirty talk. But in the wake of the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements, I've been forced to reckon with my own history of harassment. And while I recognize that some women are turned on by hearing words like "slut" and "whore" during sex, for me, it just doesn't sit well.

The Truth About Why Some Women Masturbate During Sex

My ex-boyfriend couldn’t keep his hands to himself. I don’t mean that he was a huge fan of PDA — he actually wasn't. I mean he was handsy in bed, in that he would physically prevent me from touching myself.

It was the oddest thing. We’d be having sex, and I’d feel the desire to reach between my legs for a little massage. My ex would spot this, push my hand away, and try to get the job done himself. I hated it. It completely took me out of the moment, and it never resulted in a good orgasm for me.

My ex wasn’t the only one who suffered from handsiness. A few of my former sexual partners have acted like they were emotionally wounded by the fact that my hand was on my clitoris. In my experience, when I touch myself during sex, men tend to react one of two ways: They either think they’re not getting me off, so they get offended or ask what they can do; or they think it’s some coded way for me to tell them that I want them to touch me, so they take matters into their own hands.

7 Ways to Give Her an Orgasm She'll Never Forget

Scientists gave us the data. Sex therapists gave us the how-to. The results: Science- backed ways you can be her orgasm donor.

1. PREP PROPERLY
Replace “inhibitors” (chores, kids) with “excitors”—early photos of you two, music, a scented candle, says sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D. Tell her how great she looks in candlelight. Nicole Prause, Ph.D., found that body-negative thoughts curbed women’s arousal while they watched porn.

Are You Datable or Are You a Fling?

I’ve spent a lot of time trying to make relationships out of booty calls. Because all great relationships are built on a foundation of phenomenal sex and the occasional inside joke, right? (RIGHT?!) I mean, if you’re making me orgasm multiple times a week, why wouldn’t I want to keep you around long term and try to build a solid, lasting relationship with openness, honesty, and commitment. I can totally tell you’d be good at that while your head is between my legs...

Having This Much Sex Might Make You Smarter

Okay, so there are tons of reasons why you should have sex right now. But here’s one you might not have thought of: Having frequent sex might boost your brain, researchers from Coventry University in the U.K. suggest.

In the study, researchers asked 73 older adults how often they had sex, and then had them perform tasks that tested their brain function—including things like attention, memory, fluency, language, and visuospatial abilities.

You Won't Go Blind

It's something people don't talk about, but almost everyone does it: masturbation. In one national study, 95 percent of men and 89 percent of women said they had masturbated.

"We are programmed, as best we know, to need orgasms," says Gloria Brame, Ph.D., a clinical sexologist in Athens, Ga. "It's a fundamental aspect of men's health, right up there with brushing your teeth." And the more you know about what satisfies you solo, the more pleasure you get from sex.

You likely know that a little wanking won't make you go blind or cause your penis to fall off. (Let's face it, you'd know by now.) In fact, a little time alone is perfectly healthy for you.

Do You Like Big Breasts?

Are you a breast man? Butt man? Or do legs drive you wild? Your preference is about more than whether you had a Heather Locklear or Pamela Anderson poster above your bed as a teenager. In fact, whether you appreciate an hourglass figure, smoldering eyes, or humble breasts can give you hidden clues about your relationship style—and hers.

So view our list of the Hottest Women of 2011 and then tell us: Where do your eyes go when you check out a beautiful woman?  Here’s what your answer means.

The 7 Sexiest Things to Do With Your Hands

Remember when you felt sexually advanced if you'd reached second base?

Well, it’s time to bring your hands back into the bedroom—and not just as a tool for getting your girlfriend off.

“Hands can add so much creativity to sensuality,” says Marianne Brandon, Ph.D., author of Reclaiming Desire: 4 Keys to Finding Your Lost Libido. “Women really like to be teased, and hands are an important part of that intensity building.”

In other words, your digits are capable of sexual stimulation that your penis isn’t—you just have to know how to turn them into your own personal sex toys.

How to Give Her a 60-Second Orgasm

The only thing better than an orgasm is one that lasts for a full minute.

Yes, the 60-second climax really exists, according to Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., author of Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life.

It’s not typical—the female orgasm usually lasts 6 to 30 seconds, Nagoski says. But if her mood and your moves are right, her climax can keep going. Prolong her pleasure with six easy strategies.

For more ideas on how to have hotter sex than you ever imagined, check out The Better Man Project, the brand-new book from the Editor-in-Chief of Men’s Health. You’ll find more than 2,000 simple, effective tips on seduction, relationships, health, and fitness that will improve every aspect of your life!

The First Thing You Must Do in Bed

Generosity for the win: Focusing on what she craves in the sack also increases your arousal, says research in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science.

Researchers studied “sexual communal strength”—the willingness to meet a partner’s sexual needs—in long-term couples. Both parties filled out daily sex surveys for 3 weeks. Four months later, generous lovers  reported higher levels of daily arousal AND more desire for their partner than the less-generous couples.

How to Make Sure She’s Enjoying Sex Just As Much As You Are

Sex might not feel as great for her as you think: After surveying nearly 6,700 British women, UK researchers found that 1 in 13 of them reported feeling physical pain during sex. What’s more, women who found sex painful were also more likely to feel uninterested in sex and had more trouble getting wet and reaching orgasm.

Sex can hurt her for lots of reasons. About 2 percent of the women who reported feeling pain said their pain was severe. In those instances, underlying medical issues with her uterus or other common conditions, like urinary tract infections, were the cause, explains Mitchell.

But more often, the pain is just caused by a lack of lubrication. In fact, 45 percent of the women in pain also reported experiencing vaginal dryness—the main culprit behind uncomfortable sex for most women, says Mitchell.

The ABCs of Sex

F is for Flesh...Gordon. In the 1974 film parody of the Flash Gordon serials of the 1930s, the villainous Emperor Wang aims his Sex Ray at Earth to incapacitate human beings with insatiable sexual desires. In Sleeper, Woody Allen finds the Orgasmatron and the Orb for fighting frigidity. The Coneheads toss "sensor rings" onto one another's pointy appendages for pleasure in the 1993 movie. In the 1964 Barbarella, evil Dr. Durand-Durand teases Barbarella to the brink of orgasmic overdose with his Excessive Machine. And in 1999's The Spy Who Shagged Me, Austin Powers gets his mojo back.

Virginia Lawmakers Say Watching Porn Leads to Having Group Sex

This week, Virginia state lawmakers introduced a piece of legislation to combat what they believe to be an increasingly perilous threat to society: big, bad porn. Resolution HJ549, proposed by the House Committee on Health, Welfare, and Institutions, suggests pornography leads to “individual and societal harms.” More specifically, it mentions the hypersexualization of teenagers, infidelity, and even group sex.

Of course, it may not be hard to find a porn aficionado who has indulged in the occasional orgy, but it’s decidedly more difficult to find data proving that porn points its users in that direction. That’s because no such data exists. In fact, group sex doesn’t even rank in the top ten most searched terms across porn platforms. Statistics show that categories like “MILF” and “massage” are more likely to take the top spots.

Sex Tip: Touch Her Here

There are ways to be touched that are brilliant and other ways that are kind of blah. If there's one thing we know about the way people touch each other during sex it's that they often touch their partner the way that they, themselves, like to be touched rather than finding out how their partner likes to be touched.

Although there's a lot of variability in how people like touch, it tends to be the case that men - whose genitals are covered in skin and less sensitive than women's - tend to prefer rougher forms of touch. More thrusting, more vigor. Whereas women - whose genitals are more vulnerable and some ways and more sensitive  in some spots (hello, clitoris!) - tend to prefer less aggressive touch. Women often prefer gentle tongue flicks on the clitoris or gentle but first stimulation of their genitals. Again, this isn't always the case - there are no clear gender rules in sex - but generally speaking this is often how things fall out.

Why 42% Of Women Would Rather Eat a Nice Dinner Than Have Sex With You

Lobster: Better than an orgasm?

That’s what more than 2 in 5 women would say, according to a recent (unscientific) survey directed by Havas Worldwide, an advertising company, and Market Probe International, a market research company.

In the survey of nearly 12,000 people worldwide, about half of both men and women said they thought eating could be as pleasurable as sex.

To top off that romantic stat, the researchers also forced the subjects to pick (hypothetically) between sex and an excellent dinner at a restaurant. Given the choice, 42 percent of the women would take the dinner, please. That’s compared to just 26 percent of men.

How to Last Longer in Bed

You’ve tried crunching baseball stats. You've mentally replayed your last round of golf. You've outlined the steps to making your favorite sandwich. But the more you try to last longer in bed, the faster you finish—and you’re not alone.

“Premature ejaculation is a problem that affects almost every man at some point in his life,” says Thomas J. Walsh, M.D., a urologist at the University of Washington.

Dr. Walsh says there are primarily two methods if you want to last longer in bed: physical and psychological treatments. While physical remedies target the sensations you feel during sex, psychological solutions address your worry, stress, or other mental factors that may explain your quick trigger, Dr. Walsh explains.

The Truth About How Porn Affects Your Sex Life

There’s a war on porn taking place right now.

A growing chorus is claiming that porn is addictive, that it promotes misogyny and sexual violence, that it leads to riskier sex, and that it's creating an epidemic of erectile dysfunction and destroying relationships.

These are just some of the many reasons the state of Utah recently went so far as to formally declare porn to be a “public health crisis.”

Is porn really such a destructive force, though?

It’s difficult to come to that conclusion when you actually look at what the research says.

14 Sex Myths—Busted!

Think you know a thing or two about sex? You may be right, but you may also be way off-base. Read on to see what widely accepted “truths” can use a bit of a refresh. Once you arm yourself with this intel, put it into action. She'll thank you—and you'll thank us.

Myth: Sex is better when you're young.
Reality:  Sure, sex when you’re young may be faster and more athletic, but most sexually active older adults report having the most satisfying, emotionally rewarding sex of their lives. "There's less emphasis on quick orgasms and more focus on sensuality, creativity, and emotional connection," says sexuality education consultant Melanie Davis, Ph.D, CSE. So don’t envy the young too much—you could very well be having a much better time.

Happy Couples Are Having This Much Sex. How Do You Stack Up?

You don’t have to get busy in the bedroom every night to keep a smile on your face—or hers. Couples who have sex more than once a week aren’t any happier that those who do the deed weekly, suggests new Canadian research.

In the study, people in relationships who had sex once a week reported greater overall happiness—and greater satisfaction with their partners—than those who had sex less often.

But those who had sex more often than that didn’t receive any additional boosts of wellbeing.

6 Kama Sutra Sex Techniques That Make Missionary Even Hotter

There’s only one problem with missionary sex: The vast majority of men thrust in the same conventional, in-and-out way.

Same speed, same depth, same hip motion, same everything. In other words, yawn and repeat.

What these guys don’t know is that there are much more exciting ways to insert your penis. Ways that will create new, pleasurable sensations for both you and your partner.

Take these six ideas from the Kama Sutra, for example. It may be an ancient Hindu text—which explains the strange names like “boar’s blow”—but these techniques certainly hold up in 2016.