Should You Tell Your Partner You Cheated?

You screwed up, and now you’re in a bind: Do you keep quiet or confess? It’s a complex dilemma without a one-size-fits-all solution.

“There are no universal rules about coming clean,” says Michele Weiner-Davis, M.S.W., a Colorado-based marriage therapist. “For some couples, the truth can help them begin to heal in an honest and open way.”

In other cases, though, it can lead to a painful breakup, she says.

Here, marriage counselors explain how to determine which course of action you should choose—and how to minimize the damage for both you and your partner.

9 Ways Experts Can Tell If Your Relationship Is Going to Survive

Every couple argues, has dry spells, and hits a rough patch sooner or later. If you’re in the middle of one right now, you might be wondering: “Is my relationship going to make it?”

While there’s no guarantee that any relationship will work, couples therapists say these nine signs indicate that yours will survive.

1. YOU HAVE FUN TOGETHER
“The skills couples need to keep intimacy alive in a long-term relationship aren’t obvious because people don’t talk about them,” says Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., psychotherapist and author of Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage.

“Most couples need to lower their expectations of romance and glamour and raise the level of fun they have together,” she says. This means having regular dates and check-in talks, plus taking time to enjoy activities together.