Watch Out! Social Media Can Sink Your Love Life

It may have taken years to build, but a relationship can crumble in only 140 characters. A new study from the University of Missouri found that frequent tweeting increases your odds for real-life couple conflicts. Worse, it can actually be the downfall of your relationship, leading to cheating, breakups, and divorce.

Here's the deal: Researcher Russell Clayton polled couples of all dating durations and found they argued over basically every element of the survey, including who their partner tweets to, what they’re posting, and the sheer amount of hours they spend on the site. Clayton’s previous research found Facebook also sparked relationship trouble.



Similarly, a Canadian study found that the more time you spend on Facebook, the higher the odds of jealousy in your relationship. Researchers attribute this to a feedback loop: The network exposes people to ambiguous information about their partner they might not otherwise have access to—everything from seemingly random men and women leaving comments to out-of-context photos shared from friends. This drives users to dig for more information, only to be presented with more ambiguous, green-eye-inducing tidbits.

But it’s not always about the opposite sex—at least not when guys are in hot water: A recent study from scientists in Zurich and Qatar found that men tweet less about or to women than women do with men. “I think being glued to your phone is actually the biggest issue for couples when it comes to technology use, even more so than the actual content of their social media behavior,” says Jennifer Theiss, Ph.D, associate professor of communication at Rutgers University.
 
With so many ways to be in the virtual hot seat, what can you do beyond thinking before you tweet? Check out these three tactics for balancing your relationship on and offline.

Set ground rules
Deciding to change your status from “single” can be a nerve-racking conversation, but once you’re established as a couple, be explicit about your online expectations for one another, advises Theiss. Setting ground rules—like no tweeting about how you’re being dragged to see The Other Woman, or discussing before you friend an ex—can help eliminate the gray area of what would be considered inappropriate, and avoid future spats.

Declare phone-free zones
Everyone has different expectations for what is appropriate cell phone behavior, but couples should decide—and discuss—what they are willing to tolerate, says Theiss. Maybe it’s no cell phones during dinner, no laptops in the bedroom, or only two email checks on Saturdays. This can be such a troublesome topic, but when couples are on the same page about technology use, they are less likely to be upset by violations, she adds.

Cut her some slack
“If your partner had a romantic relationship in the past, there will be pictures of them looking happy, and it is possible that their ex might wish them a happy birthday or like their Facebook status once in a while,” says Theiss. It is important not to blame her or get angry for things that are out of her control. If a tweet or “like” really hits a nerve, try to recognize whether your jealousy stems from her actual behavior, or your own insecurities. Airing irrational suspicions can make her more uncertain about you as a partner and the viability of your relationship, Theiss says. But if your irritation seems justified, then you have the right to bring it up, she adds. But ask how she felt about her ex posting that old picture of them: When people try to understand a situation through someone else’s point of view it promotes empathy and prevents actions that could be perceived as hurtful, she says.

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Article source: http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/social-media-can-sink-your-love-life