How to Avoid a Communication Breakdown in Your Relationship

From the outside looking in, relationships seem pretty straightforward. Once you couple up, you have a built-in person to watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine with and wrap your arms around at night. But the hard truth is that relationships take work. Any relationship therapist will tell you that approximately 90 percent of having a successful, healthy relationship is about communication.

So what happens if you never learned how to effectively communicate, especially when it comes to telling your partner how you feel (about them, about your shitty day at work, about the way you feel when they make googly eyes at that one celebrity with the rock-hard abs...)?

How to Know if You're in a Rebound Relationship

Finding yourself in a rebound relationship supposedly spells doom for a budding romance. As popular opinion goes, rebounds reek of sadness and regret: One person has just gotten out of a long-term relationship, is likely still hurting from that breakup, and grabs onto another person to bury the pain. It’s not a great situation (though some research says that people who rebound may have better self-esteem than those who don’t).

4 Ways to Keep Your Long-Distance Relationship Hot

You know how the saying goes: Absence makes the heart grow fonder. That’s great, but fondness isn’t all it takes to keep the flame alive between you and your long-distance partner. Sex is important, too, which can obviously be hard to come by when you two don’t live in the same city, or even the same state.

But your sex life is not all-or-nothing. In other words, just because you aren’t getting busy on a regular basis, that shouldn’t stop you from keeping things hot while you’re apart. Try out these long-distance relationship ideas that will keep things ridiculously hot, no matter how many miles separate you.

1. SWAP PHONE CALLS FOR VIDEO CALLS
It’s great to hear your girlfriend's voice, but seeing her is even better. That might seem like a huge duh, but it’s often so much easier to chat whenever one of you has the time, like while you're in line at the grocery store or driving to work. Not the sexiest of environments. Even though video calls might require more scheduling, they’re worth it.

4 Things Every Woman Wants to Hear In a Relationship

Whether you've been with your partner for a couple months or many years, sometimes it's the tiniest gestures that make the biggest impact. Sure, planning elaborate dates can be great, but at the end of the day, a seemingly simple comment can mean everything.

To learn just what to say to make your partner feel adored, we chatted with top therapists for specific statements that will help you talk your way to tighter bonds.

Here's exactly what to say if you want to strengthen your connection with your partner. (And be sure to have some Lelo Hex condoms from the Men's Health store on hand in case you decide to take it to the next level.)

Are You Datable or Are You a Fling?

I’ve spent a lot of time trying to make relationships out of booty calls. Because all great relationships are built on a foundation of phenomenal sex and the occasional inside joke, right? (RIGHT?!) I mean, if you’re making me orgasm multiple times a week, why wouldn’t I want to keep you around long term and try to build a solid, lasting relationship with openness, honesty, and commitment. I can totally tell you’d be good at that while your head is between my legs...

You Won't Go Blind

It's something people don't talk about, but almost everyone does it: masturbation. In one national study, 95 percent of men and 89 percent of women said they had masturbated.

"We are programmed, as best we know, to need orgasms," says Gloria Brame, Ph.D., a clinical sexologist in Athens, Ga. "It's a fundamental aspect of men's health, right up there with brushing your teeth." And the more you know about what satisfies you solo, the more pleasure you get from sex.

You likely know that a little wanking won't make you go blind or cause your penis to fall off. (Let's face it, you'd know by now.) In fact, a little time alone is perfectly healthy for you.

The First Thing You Must Do in Bed

Generosity for the win: Focusing on what she craves in the sack also increases your arousal, says research in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science.

Researchers studied “sexual communal strength”—the willingness to meet a partner’s sexual needs—in long-term couples. Both parties filled out daily sex surveys for 3 weeks. Four months later, generous lovers  reported higher levels of daily arousal AND more desire for their partner than the less-generous couples.

How Your Relationship Changes When You Finally Move In Together

There comes a moment in every couple’s life when it’s time to shack up. Maybe you’ve been together for a solid year or two and moving in together is the next natural step. Maybe you already keep a toothbrush at each other’s place, and signing both of your names on one lease is just a formality. But what happens after you finally pack up your crap and set up shop at a new spot? After one Reddit user recently posed the question, “What changed the most when you moved in together?” we combed through the respondents’ best answers to find out what really goes down after you start sharing a key.

3 Easy Ways to Make Her Want You—Right Now

Keeping the flame ignited in a long-term relationship isn’t about tantra or buying her new lingerie (though those may not hurt either).

Instead, the secret to lasting sexual desire is something called responsiveness, researchers say.

Great! So…what the heck is that?

That’s when you show your partner that you value them—that you understand and appreciate their needs and support their goals, says study author Gurit Birnbaum, Ph.D., a psychology professor at the Interdisciplinary Center Herzliya in Israel.

How to Fix a Boring Marriage

After the wedding, lots of couples can feel a letdown, and they begin to get bored, says Rachel A. Sussman, L.C.S.W., author of The Breakup Bible.

“The excitement of dating has passed, the excitement of falling in love has passed, the excitement of the engagement and the wedding has passed, then it gets stale,” she says.

Here’s what it means if your relationship is going dull—and how to get out of a rut without breaking up.

9 Ways Experts Can Tell If Your Relationship Is Going to Survive

Every couple argues, has dry spells, and hits a rough patch sooner or later. If you’re in the middle of one right now, you might be wondering: “Is my relationship going to make it?”

While there’s no guarantee that any relationship will work, couples therapists say these nine signs indicate that yours will survive.

1. YOU HAVE FUN TOGETHER
“The skills couples need to keep intimacy alive in a long-term relationship aren’t obvious because people don’t talk about them,” says Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., psychotherapist and author of Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage.

“Most couples need to lower their expectations of romance and glamour and raise the level of fun they have together,” she says. This means having regular dates and check-in talks, plus taking time to enjoy activities together.

8 Signs It’s Time To Break Up

How do you know when it’s time to call it quits, versus when you’re just going through a rough patch?

We spoke with relationship experts to get a list of eight crucial signs to look out for. If several of these apply to you, and if you’ve worked on them to no avail, it could be time to cut the cord.

YOU'RE FIGHTING OVER EVERYTHING
Fights happen. And some couples just naturally fight more than others.

But if your argument pattern is changing and you’re starting to pick fights over the littlest, most insignificant things, that could be an indication that something’s awry, says relationship therapist Rachel Sussman, L.C.S.W., author of The Breakup Bible.

How to Boost Desire in a Long-Term Relationship

When you've been with the same partner for a long time, there will inevitably be times when you want to climb them like a tree and times that you just don't. It's totally normal.

That said, mismatched libidos can sometimes become a bigger problem and lead to stress in a relationship—not to mention a lack of satisfaction. So researchers aimed to find out what strategies women were using to manage sexual desire differences in their bond and if any of them were particularly useful.

8 Secrets Never to Keep in a Relationship

By Cari Wira Dineen, REDBOOK.

You've maxed out the credit cards and you're the only one who sees the bills every month.
"Secretly spending and trying to hide the purchases is a big indicator that there's not a lot of trust in your relationship," says Ian Kerner, a relationship expert and author of Passionista. Try to figure out why you're not disclosing what you buy: Do you feel that your decisions are being ridiculed? Does your husband tend to control the majority of the money or your relationship overall? Or do you have a problem with compulsive spending? Then, come clean. Explain that you know you spent too much, but that there's a reason you didn't share--for example, you haven't felt comfortable expressing your needs in general recently. Use this mistake as an opportunity to get on the same page about not just money, but also about how to effectively communicate and stand by your wants and needs. Kerner then suggests devising a budget in which you both allocate funds for personal discretionary spending, which will help set you up as financial equals. And make an agreement that any time you're considering making a purchase over a set amount, say $100, you'll discuss it with each other before you plunk down your credit card. 

Can We Blame Our Sexless Lives on Smart Phones?

By Farhana Nazir, Refinery29

The thought-provoking findings from the recent National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles (Natsal) provides us with some great insight into our sex lives. One worrisome revelation: We're getting busy far less than we used to - in fact, just three times a month on average. Shocking, right?

But, even more depressing is the revelation that our technological addictions could be to blame for our sex-starved lifestyles. Damn you, iPhone 5! Professor Kaye Wellings of the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine tells The Daily Telegraph, "People [are] taking laptops to bed, iPads, the fact work comes into our home now - there's no strict divide." So, that bedroom office isn't such a good idea, after all.