The Surprising Truth About Your Sex Life After Age 40

Who says the kinky stuff was only for your wild, single days? According to a new survey from Trojan, you probably won’t reach your full, shall we say, creative potential until you’re a bit older and wiser.

The condom connoisseurs at Trojan teamed up with the Sex Information and Education Council of Canada to survey 2,400 Canadians between the ages of 40 and 59 about their sex lives.

And it turns out that the sex lives of most middle-aged adults do not go stale as they age. In fact, 65 percent of respondents said they were very satisfied with their last sexual encounter.

12 Sex Secrets Women Wish You Knew

We scoured the latest studies, grilled dozens of experts, and polled more than 700 women to come up with this enlightening list of 12 rules guaranteed to make you a better lover—tonight.

By turning her fantasies into reality, she'll be more likely to agree to act out your wildest sex dreams.

And she'll want sex more often, so things will only get better every time you get naked with her.

1. Greater Focus Leads to Hotter Sex
What's the best way to unlock a woman's wildest desires in bed?

"Passion," said 42 percent of the women we surveyed.

"That means being in the moment and not being distracted," says Joel Block, Ph. D., a Long Island-based psychologist and the author of Secrets of Better Sex. "Sex is a conversation, and she doesn't want to feel like you wish you had your BlackBerry."

12 Sex Secrets Women Wish You Knew

We scoured the latest studies, grilled dozens of experts, and polled more than 700 women to come up with this enlightening list of 12 rules guaranteed to make you a better lover—tonight.

By turning her fantasies into reality, she'll be more likely to agree to act out your wildest sex dreams. And she'll want sex more often, so things will only get better every time you get naked with her

1. Greater Focus Leads to Hotter Sex
What's the best way to unlock a woman's wildest desires in bed? "Passion," said 42 percent of the women we surveyed. "That means being in the moment and not being distracted," says Joel Block, Ph. D., a Long Island-based psychologist and the author of Secrets of Better Sex. "Sex is a conversation, and she doesn't want to feel like you wish you had your BlackBerry."

What It Means If She Cries After Sex

You want a naked woman in your bed to be one of two things: horny or satisfied.

But what if she cries?

It’s a common experience, according to new Australian research. Nearly half of women have felt unexplainable sadness after sex, the study finds.

Researchers call the phenomenon “postcoital dysphoria.” It can involve bursting into tears or just feeling depressed or anxious.

The good news: Her crying may have nothing to do with you. The women in the study specified that their feelings were “inexplicable,” so it’s not like it could be traced back to, say, the guy’s tragically subpar skills in the sack.

When You Should Say No to Sex

Guys are expected to be horndogs, ready for sex at the drop of a bra. But that’s a lot of pressure, says Men's Health Sex Professor Debby Herbenick, Ph.D.

“Sometimes men end up accepting sex because their partner wants it, but they’re not that into it,” she says. “Then they have difficulty with erections, and it sets them up to feel like they have ED.”

How Much Sex Is Too Much Sex?

“More bang for your buck” might not apply in bed: Having lots of sex could make you enjoy it less, finds new research from Carnegie Mellon University.

In the study, married couples who got busy at least once a month, but no more than three times per week, were split into two groups. Some pairs were asked to double their sex rate, while the rest kept their habits the same.

After 3 months, couples who boosted their boning reported having less desire for sex than they had at the beginning of the experiment.

4 Places You Shouldn't Touch During Sex

Great sex is all about spontaneity and exploration—assuming, of course, you have her consent—but there are a few parts of her body you shouldn't touch willy-nilly. Here are four such spots you're better off avoiding.

1. Her cervix.

If you reach her cervix during sex, recognize that something is wrong. Remember, this is the narrow canal that connects the vagina to the uterus—where babies grow. That isn’t a place you want to go, so don’t knock on the door. For starters, it’s painful for her to have something rammed against her cervix, and it could be a sign that you need to shift for a position with shallower penetration. But it could also mean that she isn’t warmed up enough. Her uterus will actually “lift” upwards when she’s sexually aroused, making her vaginal cavity a few inches deeper than when she isn’t turned on. So don’t skimp on foreplay, and don't service her cervix.

HOT GIRL ASKS 100 GUYS IF THEY WANT TO HAVE SEX AND YOU’LL NEVER GUESS HOW MANY SAY NO

How to Have Sex for an Hour!

You’ve tried crunching baseball stats. You've mentally replayed your last round of golf. You've outlined the steps to making your favorite sandwich. But the more you try to slow yourself down during sex, the faster you finish—and you’re not alone.

“Premature ejaculation is a problem that affects almost every man at some point in his life,” says Thomas J. Walsh, M.D., a urologist at the University of Washington.

Dr. Walsh says there are primarily two methods of dealing with your speed issues: physical and psychological treatments. While physical remedies target the sensations you feel during sex, psychological solutions address your worry, stress, or other mental factors that may explain your quick trigger, Dr. Walsh explains.

Here, he and other experts break down a few of the most helpful techniques for dealing with premature ejaculation (PE). But be warned: Dr. Walsh recommends trying these out on your own before attempting them during sex.

Why Your Grandparents Are Having Better Sex Than You

The perfect 50th anniversary gift? Lingerie.

Married couples’ sex lives start to rebound after half a century together, a new study from Baylor University finds.

Researchers interviewed older spouses about their bedroom habits. True to conventional wisdom, the longer a couple had been married, the less often they slept together. That’s because sex with the same person can get less exciting as the years tick by, says study author Samuel Stroope, Ph.D., a professor of sociology at Baylor.

Can Sex Improve Your Running Performance?

Here’s a compelling argument for getting racy before heading out for a run: 48 percent of runners under age 40 say that having sex before a race fueled their performance, according to a new survey of 1,000 male and female runners from Brooks Running.

Okay, so it’s not like this was a scientific poll or anything. But it made us wonder—can sex give your running workout an edge? The answer is a definite yes, says sexologist Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D. First, sex is like any cardio activity, getting your blood pumping and your heart rate going. But since most sex sessions aren’t crazy physically demanding (which is why sex doesn't really count as a workout), it serves as kind of a warm-up to your run, heating muscles and joints and making you more flexy.

Are You a Sex Addict ... or Just a Guy?

Here's a shocker: Men love sex. Thinking about it, watching it, doing it—your day is probably sprinkled with sexual urges. How often? Ten, 20, 50 times a day? Is once every 10 minutes a reason to start worrying? Where’s the line between having a sex addiction ... and just being a living, breathing guy?

Studies have shown that as many as 1 in 25 people report an uncontrollable obsession with sexual thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. But whether sex addiction is even a real thing is up for debate. As it's clinically known, hypersexuality didn’t make the cut to be included in the newest version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), the bible of diagnosing mental disorders. But if you were to ask Tiger Woods, a voracious sexual appetite is  a very real thing.

5 Reasons She Hates Oral Sex

Can't break her BJ embargo? While some women just aren't interested in fellatio, your partner may be fine with it—but you could be killing her desire to go down below. Here are five things you do that turn her off to oral sex.

1. You get handsy. “When a guy pushes his partner’s head down during [oral sex], that’s the biggest complaint I hear from women,” says Ava Cadell, a doctor of human sexuality and author of NeuroLoveology. Despite what you see in porn, a lot of women aren’t cool with you working her head like it’s a football and you’re running a play-action fake. Instead, “Give her compliments on how good she is at giving oral and how beautiful she looks while she is doing it,” Cadell advises.

Why You Love Morning Sex — and How to Get More of It

There’s never a bad time to have sex, but science says it’s especially fun to mess around in the morning. How come?

For starters, you naturally build up testosterone overnight, which boosts your coital instincts in the A.M., says Tammy Nelson, Ph.D., a sex and relationship therapist and author of Getting the Sex You Want. You also have higher levels of vasopressin, a hormone that helps give you feelings of emotional attachment. Couple that with an erect penis, “and you may feel closer and more attached to your significant other in the morning,” Nelson says.

7 Sex Upgrades for Your Bed

The whole "twin  bed with threadbare sheets" thing may have worked in college, but you’re out of the frat house now—which means your bedroom needs to grow up, too. “Surrounding yourself with warmth and luxury is a catalyst for sex—an aphrodisiac, even,” says Cathy Hobbs, an interior designer in New York City. “It’s the difference between being at Motel 6 and the Four Seasons.”

Make your bedroom a place where women want to jump between the sheets—and stay there—with these seven tips. Then hang up the “Do Not Disturb” sign and get busy.

7 Sex Upgrades for Your Bed

The whole "twin  bed with threadbare sheets" thing may have worked in college, but you’re out of the frat house now—which means your bedroom needs to grow up, too. “Surrounding yourself with warmth and luxury is a catalyst for sex—an aphrodisiac, even,” says Cathy Hobbs, an interior designer in New York City. “It’s the difference between being at Motel 6 and the Four Seasons.”

Make your bedroom a place where women want to jump between the sheets—and stay there—with these seven tips. Then hang up the “Do Not Disturb” sign and get busy.

How Your Job Can Save Your Sex Life

When it comes  to work, you dress well, hold your emotions in check, and (usually) show up on time. But most of us don’t apply those same standards to our romantic relationships. And that’s a problem, shows research from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.

That said, there’s a fine line when it comes to treating your wife or girlfriend like you treat your boss and coworkers. Extending certain work practices to your private life, though, can significantly lower the amount of emotional strain and conflict you and your partner experience. It could even score you more sex.  Here, five ways to get there.

4 Things You Think Turn Her On—That Don't

Your girlfriend's libido

  doesn't just have an on/off switch. She requires a slow build—which means there's plenty of time for mistakes. And no matter how well you think you know her hot buttons, there's a good chance a few moves in your repertoire are actually squelching her sex drive. "Men often assume women are turned on by the same things they are," says Brandy Engler, Ph.D., a Los Angeles-based sex therapist and author of The Men on My Couch. That's your first misstep—and unfortunately, it can lead to many more.  

Why She's Not Reaching Orgasm

Can’t get her

  off? Perhaps it’s more than lack of foreplay. 

Women with introverted personalities are more likely to experience problems in the bedroom than outgoing ladies, according to research published in the journal Sexual Medicine. In fact, more reticent respondents were also less open to new experiences. 

If your girlfriend leans more towards the quiet side, don’t worry: Providing her with emotional support can make her more satisfied with her sex life—and make it easier for her to climax, says study author Christina Crisp, M.D. 

4 Sex Questions You Should Ask Your Doctor

Turns out, doctors

  are just as skittish as teens about having “the talk.” Physicians spend an average of just 36 seconds discussing sexuality with young patients, according to a new Duke University study.

And while you may not be 16 anymore, there’s a good chance your sex talks with Doc still only last about as long as you did your first time in the sack. It's time you have the cojones to ask your most burning questions about sex—for you health’s sake. Start with these four.